I want to ride my bike, Mr. Weather has a different plan. At 19 Degrees I drive to the vanpool in the morning with gloves and a thick coat.
This weekend's Structural Integration series included the psoas, not as painful as other sessions though just as effective. As I was leaving work today I noticed that I feel taller and maybe I am. Will have a mid-week Structural Integration session as I am attending a Diamond Approach workshop on the Markabah this weekend. No doubt it will be an enlightening weekend.
I have four executives signed up for our first practice in Subtlety in the Art of Leadership. I appreciate the trust they have to join me - finalizing space for next Tuesday, Yay!
Spent the evening reminiscing on my film days, realizing how crucial creative connection is to my happiness. Often creativity has to take a second place to minor things like survival. Occasionally I realize how my wildness frightens people. When I was working in film it was so free and fun, though an extremely hard way to make a living. Seeking balance between stability and freedom is not an easy task, but I'm up for the challenge.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wiggle it! (Day 23 and 22a)
Celebrated Ash Wednesday dancing at a friend's church (to Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall). Late in the afternoon I felt achy and tired, unmotivated. As I got to the church and rehearsed I came alive and in performing fire shot through me into the late evening. I danced in rigidity and chaos - both out of my comfort zone of flowing - to express the trappings and freedom in the song. About a decade ago I recognized that my search for Truth had to be outside of church and made crazy sacrifices for it - everyone's journey is different the very awake minister found her search within the ministry and we arrived at... the same place... the strange and wonderful journey that is life.
Started my Spring bike commute this morning. Since I recently moved my getting in shape is grateful for the 2 miles of easy travel compared to my nearly 7 miles with hills for fantastic interval training, though once I get in shape I'm really going to miss that great morning workout. Maybe I'll ride the old route for good measure this weekend. I am infinitely happier while moving.
Today (Thursday) realized it is Year of the Tiger (since Sunday), no wonder I'm on fire, it's MY YEAR to shine. Exploring fascia in Mary Bond's book. I just might wiggle through my day today, feel all the lovely openings and freedom in letting my fascia slide.
Started my Spring bike commute this morning. Since I recently moved my getting in shape is grateful for the 2 miles of easy travel compared to my nearly 7 miles with hills for fantastic interval training, though once I get in shape I'm really going to miss that great morning workout. Maybe I'll ride the old route for good measure this weekend. I am infinitely happier while moving.
Today (Thursday) realized it is Year of the Tiger (since Sunday), no wonder I'm on fire, it's MY YEAR to shine. Exploring fascia in Mary Bond's book. I just might wiggle through my day today, feel all the lovely openings and freedom in letting my fascia slide.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Following Darkness, Light
The sun is shining, the days are longer, the flat on my bike is fixed and thanks to my boyfriend I have and know how to use a patch kit. I rode the bike down the street last night to test the gears. Even the chill in the evening air felt good. I miss my nearly 7 mile one way (up hill in the snow both ways barefoot with snow leaches) hilly cardio-fest bike commute to my carpool and look forward to the Summer and Fall torture fest up Millcreek and down through the Canyons into Park City. It's a long commute to work though serenely beautiful and unbelievably rewarding. Bring it!
My challenge is to work through all of the exercises in Mary Bond's book in the next 20 days.
Day 21 & 22 - Breath and Orientation in movement. I notice more openness than the first time I worked through these explorations a few months ago. RemedyWave last night was deep and wonderful, 90 minutes felt like 12. My practice is taking on a different quality, more clarity along with the natural deepening. Confidence and trust are interweaving, craving radiance and movement.
My challenge is to work through all of the exercises in Mary Bond's book in the next 20 days.
Day 21 & 22 - Breath and Orientation in movement. I notice more openness than the first time I worked through these explorations a few months ago. RemedyWave last night was deep and wonderful, 90 minutes felt like 12. My practice is taking on a different quality, more clarity along with the natural deepening. Confidence and trust are interweaving, craving radiance and movement.
Monday, February 15, 2010
After the Bliss, the Agony - Riding the Wave (Days 13-20)
A tumble of pains and emotions - the highlights got a great new mattress (latex memory foam) - look forward to molding with it. Structural Integration series - about mid-week I noticed my right shoulder blade align better from the work last Saturday, it was a subtle shift and a great joy. As I shared with Dan he mentioned the settling process can take half a year and I should expect many such delights. This Saturday we worked on inner legs support, extremely painful. Often when something won't release Dan will have me stretch and then let my eyes roll side to side to help dig in (less painfully). While I don't understand all of this yet I am aware of the depth of inter-connectivity and astounded. Here is a related post on Mary Bond's blog. I realize how protected the area we worked on is for me. I am still aware of some tightening in my right hip. Dan mentioned that what happens in the shoulders happens in the hips to this may be residue from the broken collar bone that will begin to right itself through the unwinding. Insightful session through the conversation on Zen and the Art of Archery, taking fabulous body practices to people in their language to meet their needs.
Slaying relationship demons. Evidence is a relief, yet I knew the truth and waited. Is my knowing any less true than evidence? As I look at my part - lack of communication. Steps are being considered that should have been taken a year ago. How would this be different if I pushed these steps a year ago? What is the trade-off? If trust is eroded in one area can it exist in another? A dear friend believes so, he loves me and would never let anything bad happen to me. We need the deepest layers of trust - rock climbing and AcroYoga - an unprotected fall without a good belay could mean life or death.
Grateful for a nice Sunday teaching Yoga (would have enjoyed more than 3 hours sleep - neighbor's party even after moved indoors at my request was loud until 2am and I had to be up at 5am), snowboarding in some more cool new spots, nice dinner at home and an early bedtime.
Slaying relationship demons. Evidence is a relief, yet I knew the truth and waited. Is my knowing any less true than evidence? As I look at my part - lack of communication. Steps are being considered that should have been taken a year ago. How would this be different if I pushed these steps a year ago? What is the trade-off? If trust is eroded in one area can it exist in another? A dear friend believes so, he loves me and would never let anything bad happen to me. We need the deepest layers of trust - rock climbing and AcroYoga - an unprotected fall without a good belay could mean life or death.
Grateful for a nice Sunday teaching Yoga (would have enjoyed more than 3 hours sleep - neighbor's party even after moved indoors at my request was loud until 2am and I had to be up at 5am), snowboarding in some more cool new spots, nice dinner at home and an early bedtime.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Blissful Body Weekend
Thursday, Day 9 - Our Diamond Approach inquiry was the contours of the body. My sensation internally alone, visually in a mirror and internally in groups found a broad and barely related spectrum - I disappear in groups, no wonder I don't like them!
Friday, Day 10 - Felt the right side of my body compressed. Looking forward to Saturday's Structural Integration session to work some of that out. Found that I was able to enjoy a going away gathering for my boss (who will be greatly missed) - in a group setting I was able to stay present, yay inquiry!
Saturday, Day 11 - Structural Integration session 3. Elongating the side bodies, breath, openness especially around the collar bone on the right side. My homework includes walking with a pillow on my head, finding that plumb line, then turning and moving with the pillow, keeping the plumb line in motion. As I was practicing my boyfriend walked into the room and shook his head (he has come to expect such things from me). My response, "yes, I recognize I have a pillow on my head." The other section of homework is to interlace my fingers with hands facing the earth and rotate the hands forward and back and loosely as possible to let both collar bones work together. In the evening enjoyed a deep practice, found the relaxation I was seeking and noticed a reddish/maroon color I often see to the left outside my head in front of my body is becoming a deep purple with a white light breaking through the center. Reminds me of the Leonard Cohen lyric, "there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." I refer to this often to flow with challenges.
I must be allergic to organic celery root. As I climbed into bed my hands and feet itched. At first it felt like the uncomfortable tingling sensation when a limb that is asleep starts to wake up. I was excited, hoping that Dan released some held fascia that would let my circulation in the extremities flow more freely and my fingers and toes would finally be warm. No such luck (though I'm still not ruling it out). The itching was so strong I had to get out of bed and lotion/oil/dance to relieve it. Soon my hands were red and I noticed it had spread to my face, neck and legs. For dinner I had prepared organic celery root (from our CSA, an adventure in food I would not otherwise know) for the first time with tomatoes and sage. After a few hours I was finally able to rest. In the morning my skin was back to normal color - whew.
Sunday, Day 12 - Snowboarding at Snowbird. Explored some fun new terrain with my boyfriend. Enjoyed garlic burgers and attended a going away party for one of my favorite yoga teachers with talk about intentional living communities (introduced to Findhorn where I would love to take a sabbatical), solar/human powered bikes and retreat. Ending the day with a gentle Dancemeditation practice with thoughts of bringing together my more mystically minded friends for Mystical Dance in the park with some AcroYoga.
Aaah, the Blissful Body how I love thee.
Friday, Day 10 - Felt the right side of my body compressed. Looking forward to Saturday's Structural Integration session to work some of that out. Found that I was able to enjoy a going away gathering for my boss (who will be greatly missed) - in a group setting I was able to stay present, yay inquiry!
Saturday, Day 11 - Structural Integration session 3. Elongating the side bodies, breath, openness especially around the collar bone on the right side. My homework includes walking with a pillow on my head, finding that plumb line, then turning and moving with the pillow, keeping the plumb line in motion. As I was practicing my boyfriend walked into the room and shook his head (he has come to expect such things from me). My response, "yes, I recognize I have a pillow on my head." The other section of homework is to interlace my fingers with hands facing the earth and rotate the hands forward and back and loosely as possible to let both collar bones work together. In the evening enjoyed a deep practice, found the relaxation I was seeking and noticed a reddish/maroon color I often see to the left outside my head in front of my body is becoming a deep purple with a white light breaking through the center. Reminds me of the Leonard Cohen lyric, "there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." I refer to this often to flow with challenges.
I must be allergic to organic celery root. As I climbed into bed my hands and feet itched. At first it felt like the uncomfortable tingling sensation when a limb that is asleep starts to wake up. I was excited, hoping that Dan released some held fascia that would let my circulation in the extremities flow more freely and my fingers and toes would finally be warm. No such luck (though I'm still not ruling it out). The itching was so strong I had to get out of bed and lotion/oil/dance to relieve it. Soon my hands were red and I noticed it had spread to my face, neck and legs. For dinner I had prepared organic celery root (from our CSA, an adventure in food I would not otherwise know) for the first time with tomatoes and sage. After a few hours I was finally able to rest. In the morning my skin was back to normal color - whew.
Sunday, Day 12 - Snowboarding at Snowbird. Explored some fun new terrain with my boyfriend. Enjoyed garlic burgers and attended a going away party for one of my favorite yoga teachers with talk about intentional living communities (introduced to Findhorn where I would love to take a sabbatical), solar/human powered bikes and retreat. Ending the day with a gentle Dancemeditation practice with thoughts of bringing together my more mystically minded friends for Mystical Dance in the park with some AcroYoga.
Aaah, the Blissful Body how I love thee.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Moving Through
Saturday, Day 4 was my second in the Structural Integration series - foundation, feet, legs, hips. My hips naturally curved back which we corrected. I feel the right side returning to some of the holding pattern (something deeper hidden there) and some static in my neck. Will be curious to watch how it unfolds.
Sunday, Day 5 - early morning class at Snowbird after hearing the neighbors chat until the wee hours. Difficult to teach sleep deprived though it changes the dynamic to be slower and possibly deeper. Yay afternoon naps. Sleep is my friend and companion in health - physical and emotional. Lack of sleep ads difficult challenges to my practice. Sunday evening brought to light a particularly painful awareness in my relationship, one I've known for a long time, just without evidence. Communication channels open - choices for growth. How do I balance compassion with him and his struggle with attention to my needs and compassion for my journey. After cultivating so much body awareness I wanted it all to stop so I could function without feeling as I did for so many years. Instead I feel because it is all I can do, and learn to transmute and explore.
Monday, Day 6 - prompted by a dinner discussion with friends Saturday experimented with Binaural Beats. From the descriptions I was curious with how they relate to Sufi states. My experience is that they are quite similar, a deep meditation, a quick way in. Resting on the floor I was aware of my skeleton. I sensed cords unwrapping from my right side through the rib cage and around the shoulder, moving into the hips. Most of the cords melted out, some still weigh in the right hip. I sense tension in the quad to stabilize. Often in deep meditative states the meat of my body melts away and a fluid internal world opens. This may be one of the first times the skeleton has been in such sharp awareness. Because of my explorations with anatomy? Because of the healing needed?
Tuesday, Day 7 - Dance! Remedy Wave with Shannon Simonelli - a much needed opportunity to move, explore and tear. My familiar movement is spiraling - hips start and arms flow outward following. Interwoven was my take-away word, sensing my spiral of development opening and embracing. Feeling the growth from years of work to face issues with fresh perspective and strength.
Wednesday, Day 8 - the day started by meeting with an inspiring group of visionary entrepreneurs and a renewed commitment to my personal practice.
Sunday, Day 5 - early morning class at Snowbird after hearing the neighbors chat until the wee hours. Difficult to teach sleep deprived though it changes the dynamic to be slower and possibly deeper. Yay afternoon naps. Sleep is my friend and companion in health - physical and emotional. Lack of sleep ads difficult challenges to my practice. Sunday evening brought to light a particularly painful awareness in my relationship, one I've known for a long time, just without evidence. Communication channels open - choices for growth. How do I balance compassion with him and his struggle with attention to my needs and compassion for my journey. After cultivating so much body awareness I wanted it all to stop so I could function without feeling as I did for so many years. Instead I feel because it is all I can do, and learn to transmute and explore.
Monday, Day 6 - prompted by a dinner discussion with friends Saturday experimented with Binaural Beats. From the descriptions I was curious with how they relate to Sufi states. My experience is that they are quite similar, a deep meditation, a quick way in. Resting on the floor I was aware of my skeleton. I sensed cords unwrapping from my right side through the rib cage and around the shoulder, moving into the hips. Most of the cords melted out, some still weigh in the right hip. I sense tension in the quad to stabilize. Often in deep meditative states the meat of my body melts away and a fluid internal world opens. This may be one of the first times the skeleton has been in such sharp awareness. Because of my explorations with anatomy? Because of the healing needed?
Tuesday, Day 7 - Dance! Remedy Wave with Shannon Simonelli - a much needed opportunity to move, explore and tear. My familiar movement is spiraling - hips start and arms flow outward following. Interwoven was my take-away word, sensing my spiral of development opening and embracing. Feeling the growth from years of work to face issues with fresh perspective and strength.
Wednesday, Day 8 - the day started by meeting with an inspiring group of visionary entrepreneurs and a renewed commitment to my personal practice.
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