Dunya, my Dancemeditation teacher, explains the Sufi practice of whirling as an acknowledgment that we always turn toward one thing and away from another. In the brutally heart-wrenching process of ending a relationship I explore these choices:
Gain space, lose companionship
Gain self-respect, lose best friend
Gain self-awareness, lose keys (comical how stress compounds stress)
Gain interdependence, lose sense of isolation
Gain depth and discrimination, lose illusion
Gain self-reliance, lose comfort
Gain tight muscles and fever blisters, lose tears
Gain anger and distance, lose attachment
Gain more truth in my life, lose long pattern of enduring lies
Gain sleep, lose Jackson Hole
Gain fear, lose fear
Gain fear, lose fear? Not a koan, only recognition of the outstanding power in consciously walking through the fire, letting awareness dance in the flames… transforming. Experience fear, lose fear perhaps more accurate. It has been said that our development progresses along a spiral. We revisit key issues from different perspectives as we grow. Multi-perspective insight supports our evolution.
This break-up and concurrent move triggered deep issues of survival, isolation and abandonment (oddly as the one leaving – but it is there). An opportunity emerges to explore interdependence and boundaries in a new light. Deeply grateful for the near decade of deep transformative work on my tool belt, I walk, cry and laugh through the learning exposing new depths to each issue.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Why do Round People Live in Squares?
A design teacher I had in college explained that nature never makes a straight line. Because I learn experientially and want to Know for myself, I look for validation. After minutes, hours, days and weeks of exploration...
Confirmed. I have yet to find a straight line in the wild.
Last night Dan Schmidt brought this home again with talks of spiral built bones, spiral flow and multi-dimensional wonderlands. He mentioned an upcoming exciting new book by Theodore Roszak, "Change Your Body, Change the World." You think there might be a connection?
When I returned from my desert trek I was painfully aware of how inhumane this 'civilization' is. A colleague summed it up as "why do round people live in squares?" After spending weeks in intimate contact with the wild and free flow of nature, returning to fluorescent lights and blocked off walls felt constraining and unnatural. Civilization is so boxy and rigid, lacking the spark of uncontrollable wild.
Last year Bob and I spent Thanksgiving in Joshua Tree National Park for the Yogaslackers Redefining Balance retreat. Jason led us through an asana practice and had us move our mats to the side. He mentioned the obvious truth I had not recognized that most of the time we try to protect ourselves from the elements rather than engage them.
On the RideShare van to work another colleague mentioned that even those of us who play in nature quite often are usually insulated from her touch. If we do happen to touch nature it means something has gone terribly wrong, like we've wrecked on our bikes and our now a dirty pile of mud and blood.
With our health so intimately tied to nature: Engage!
Consciously, willingly and generously.
I find myself hungry for the real, the wild and the free. Movement gets me there, especially in nature. How do you get there?
Confirmed. I have yet to find a straight line in the wild.
Last night Dan Schmidt brought this home again with talks of spiral built bones, spiral flow and multi-dimensional wonderlands. He mentioned an upcoming exciting new book by Theodore Roszak, "Change Your Body, Change the World." You think there might be a connection?
When I returned from my desert trek I was painfully aware of how inhumane this 'civilization' is. A colleague summed it up as "why do round people live in squares?" After spending weeks in intimate contact with the wild and free flow of nature, returning to fluorescent lights and blocked off walls felt constraining and unnatural. Civilization is so boxy and rigid, lacking the spark of uncontrollable wild.
Last year Bob and I spent Thanksgiving in Joshua Tree National Park for the Yogaslackers Redefining Balance retreat. Jason led us through an asana practice and had us move our mats to the side. He mentioned the obvious truth I had not recognized that most of the time we try to protect ourselves from the elements rather than engage them.
On the RideShare van to work another colleague mentioned that even those of us who play in nature quite often are usually insulated from her touch. If we do happen to touch nature it means something has gone terribly wrong, like we've wrecked on our bikes and our now a dirty pile of mud and blood.
With our health so intimately tied to nature: Engage!
Consciously, willingly and generously.
I find myself hungry for the real, the wild and the free. Movement gets me there, especially in nature. How do you get there?
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