Wrapping up 40 days

The take-away: A lot more body awareness, connecting with my strength and feeling more comfortable in my skin. Learning to move my body in a new way, more subtle awareness of mechanics and motion and how to support the natural beauty in my body's design. Making connections both within myself and referring potential clients to people who have been influential in my process, most notably Dan Schmidt and Kate Temple-West. It can be scary to refer people, what if they don't like the referral? What if they have a bad experience and blame you? What if they think you are weird or something? On the other hand it can be very gratifying to share something with others, watch a change in someone's life and even more gratifying when it helps build an important business supporting amazing people doing incredible work. Worked through most of "The New Rules of Posture" practices - will be a lifelong journey of exploration and re-visiting. Time to lend the book to another friend who is interested in exploring fascia.

Intuition = Success

My first executive leadership practice was a great success. I didn't know what would come of the session, I trust my Dancemeditation practice to bring evolution over time. My first introduction to the practice was a 10-day retreat, I have no experience with doing a 90-minute session for starters. Apparently the practice, combined with the space I created for conversation and my encouragement to discuss feelings opened up some great conversations that are already having an impact in the organization. A jubilant, Yes!

The weekend before teaching set the stage with a lot of deep work in the Diamond Approach weekend and a really beautiful deep personal practice Monday evening to set the stage for Tuesday evening's work. Over two years ago I started thinking along these lines and over time the idea has taken shape as I have become more clear - both with myself and my intention. One of the key contributors has been our amazingly in tune HR Director who helped push me out of my nest to invite members of the executive team to join. Again very grateful for their involvement and trust/respect in me as teacher during that time.

Finding Strength - Days 28-34

Working along the back from feet to head I realize how little awareness I have of the dorsal plane, other than a kinked neck. Even imagining breath into my back is a challenge. I notice the tell-tell bruises of my Structural Integration series appear along my legs and back and look for the opening. At one point near the end of Wednesday's session (or was it last week's?) Dan did some work with my neck which was unbelievably comforting, like being held as a baby. Since then I have noticed less tension in the neck. Apparently I use my back as a brake. My homework is to move from sitting to standing and moving by using my arms as levers.

The Diamond Approach weekend was intensely satisfying. I rode my bike on the last day in fabulous weather. As we were exploring pleasure with a tangerine hue I made my Red Velvet cake I've been perfecting over the last few months with some yellow for the Markabah color. Mmmm... When I got to work on Monday I found a beautiful scarf with a tangerine hue on my chair, a great gift. We explored the experience of pleasure and the blocks to experiencing pleasure. A theme that kept coming up for me was connecting to strength, particularly in supporting sensitivity and boundaries. Often my pathway to strength is through truly experiencing anger or shame as they transform. When I began this work six years ago I spent a lot of time working with these distortions and am back in the same throws. I realize the spiraling nature of this work which although it feels like no progress has been made the reality must be exploring a deeper layer of this issue on the spiral. Because I am small I often forget my physical strength, one of the gifts pointed out by our teacher in the process, a lot of physical strength to support the growing experience of internal support and guidance. Another insight was the cold shivering I often feel when upset - allow the body's natural response to shake off fear.

My two practices I am carrying with me from Mary Bond's book are breathing into the back and engaging the TA for core support.

19 Degrees and Waiting... (Days 24-27)

I want to ride my bike, Mr. Weather has a different plan. At 19 Degrees I drive to the vanpool in the morning with gloves and a thick coat.

This weekend's Structural Integration series included the psoas, not as painful as other sessions though just as effective. As I was leaving work today I noticed that I feel taller and maybe I am. Will have a mid-week Structural Integration session as I am attending a Diamond Approach workshop on the Markabah this weekend. No doubt it will be an enlightening weekend.

I have four executives signed up for our first practice in Subtlety in the Art of Leadership. I appreciate the trust they have to join me - finalizing space for next Tuesday, Yay!

Spent the evening reminiscing on my film days, realizing how crucial creative connection is to my happiness. Often creativity has to take a second place to minor things like survival. Occasionally I realize how my wildness frightens people. When I was working in film it was so free and fun, though an extremely hard way to make a living. Seeking balance between stability and freedom is not an easy task, but I'm up for the challenge.

Wiggle it! (Day 23 and 22a)

Celebrated Ash Wednesday dancing at a friend's church (to Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall). Late in the afternoon I felt achy and tired, unmotivated. As I got to the church and rehearsed I came alive and in performing fire shot through me into the late evening. I danced in rigidity and chaos - both out of my comfort zone of flowing - to express the trappings and freedom in the song. About a decade ago I recognized that my search for Truth had to be outside of church and made crazy sacrifices for it - everyone's journey is different the very awake minister found her search within the ministry and we arrived at... the same place... the strange and wonderful journey that is life.

Started my Spring bike commute this morning. Since I recently moved my getting in shape is grateful for the 2 miles of easy travel compared to my nearly 7 miles with hills for fantastic interval training, though once I get in shape I'm really going to miss that great morning workout. Maybe I'll ride the old route for good measure this weekend. I am infinitely happier while moving.

Today (Thursday) realized it is Year of the Tiger (since Sunday), no wonder I'm on fire, it's MY YEAR to shine. Exploring fascia in Mary Bond's book. I just might wiggle through my day today, feel all the lovely openings and freedom in letting my fascia slide.

Following Darkness, Light

The sun is shining, the days are longer, the flat on my bike is fixed and thanks to my boyfriend I have and know how to use a patch kit. I rode the bike down the street last night to test the gears. Even the chill in the evening air felt good. I miss my nearly 7 mile one way (up hill in the snow both ways barefoot with snow leaches) hilly cardio-fest bike commute to my carpool and look forward to the Summer and Fall torture fest up Millcreek and down through the Canyons into Park City. It's a long commute to work though serenely beautiful and unbelievably rewarding. Bring it!

My challenge is to work through all of the exercises in Mary Bond's book in the next 20 days.

Day 21 & 22 - Breath and Orientation in movement. I notice more openness than the first time I worked through these explorations a few months ago. RemedyWave last night was deep and wonderful, 90 minutes felt like 12. My practice is taking on a different quality, more clarity along with the natural deepening. Confidence and trust are interweaving, craving radiance and movement.

After the Bliss, the Agony - Riding the Wave (Days 13-20)

A tumble of pains and emotions - the highlights got a great new mattress (latex memory foam) - look forward to molding with it. Structural Integration series - about mid-week I noticed my right shoulder blade align better from the work last Saturday, it was a subtle shift and a great joy. As I shared with Dan he mentioned the settling process can take half a year and I should expect many such delights. This Saturday we worked on inner legs support, extremely painful. Often when something won't release Dan will have me stretch and then let my eyes roll side to side to help dig in (less painfully). While I don't understand all of this yet I am aware of the depth of inter-connectivity and astounded. Here is a related post on Mary Bond's blog. I realize how protected the area we worked on is for me. I am still aware of some tightening in my right hip. Dan mentioned that what happens in the shoulders happens in the hips to this may be residue from the broken collar bone that will begin to right itself through the unwinding. Insightful session through the conversation on Zen and the Art of Archery, taking fabulous body practices to people in their language to meet their needs.

Slaying relationship demons. Evidence is a relief, yet I knew the truth and waited. Is my knowing any less true than evidence? As I look at my part - lack of communication. Steps are being considered that should have been taken a year ago. How would this be different if I pushed these steps a year ago? What is the trade-off? If trust is eroded in one area can it exist in another? A dear friend believes so, he loves me and would never let anything bad happen to me. We need the deepest layers of trust - rock climbing and AcroYoga - an unprotected fall without a good belay could mean life or death.

Grateful for a nice Sunday teaching Yoga (would have enjoyed more than 3 hours sleep - neighbor's party even after moved indoors at my request was loud until 2am and I had to be up at 5am), snowboarding in some more cool new spots, nice dinner at home and an early bedtime.