As goes the foundation, so goes the building

An engineering maxim from Mary Bond's book - leading to exploration of the feet, my interface with the earth. Through the first exploration I learn that I carry more weight on my right side (not a surprise). My heels carry more than the balls of my feet. On the left side I feel more supported and balanced. The arch feels solid and effortless with more of the weight on the outside of the foot. My right foot rolls slightly inward with more weight to the inside of the foot. This of course has reverberations up through the leg, into the hip and probably compounds the tension in my shoulders.

Does the compression come from a collapsing of the foot or is it in response to something funky going on in the hip, a kick-boxing injury perhaps, which has included the support all the way down to the foot in the re-adjustment?

In motion the left heel connects with the ground centered, the right connects on the outside and rolls inward with each step. I am aware of the potential for the observer (myself) to influence the movement. As I walk with awareness how much shifts from my normal walk? Aware of the arches of both feet as I walk, the right feels more collapsed and more weight rests on the inside of the ball of the right foot. My toes are rarely actively engaged in pushing off, though I feel a lot more power when I use them. Though not part of Mary's exploration to satisfy my curiosity I tried walking in shoes to notice the toe engagement. Certainly a more difficult sensation to find. I see the wisdom in the Vibram Five Fingers footwear.

Day 2

Craving some inward time, maybe decades of it. Feel tightness through the neck and shoulders, today through the front of the shoulders which is unusual. Carpal tunnel and tendinitis screaming at me - hopefully it's last long cry into the air before it dies out forever. Kate's Aaah... Oil calls to me. Thankful for friends and community.

Feel the resistance to stretching my wings... and then the buoyant support encouraging the growth. Patience grasshopper, trust.

I enjoy the quality of my in breath more when I let it flow - exhale fully and decidedly and relax to let the inhale happen. Probably my lesson today to translate to life.

When Life Interupts the Breath

While teaching I remind my students to bring their awareness back to the breath. It is a great reminder for myself, bring it back. My 40 days of Anatomical Explorations were derailed by life (the Outdoor Retailer show, a house full of very fun guests and a snow night spent on the yoga room floor at Snowbird) so I'm bringing it back. I've decided to start the 40 days over since I am enjoying the exploration so much. My sense is that a lifetime of this exploration is possible. As I have embarked on this physical/mystical journey I guess that's what I have signed up for.

Tonight, Day 1 - breath. Inhale pattern and exhale pattern yoga poses with very gifted and developed yoga teacher Scott Moore. On the inhale our bodies expand and open, on the exhale they contract and create stabilization. Backbends are inhale pattern poses and Forwardbends are exhale pattern poses. I also want to apply this to climbing, inhaling reaching, exhaling pulling. Looking forward to exploring the extension of the legs in this breath cycle in coordination with the other movement. With the idea of Yin/Yang in mind in each extension back there is a slight tucking of the tailbone so within the heart of the openness is support. This reminds my of my physical therapists suggestion that for more flexibility I must have the strength and stability to hold the stretch.

When Scott lead us through camel pose the front of my neck felt tight. He recommended tucking my chin to the chest which made my head feel very light without the neck tension. My low back hurts occasionally in backbends and my quads hold tightness. As I create a slight contraction bringing the top of the pubic bone to the ribs this helps the low back. I am sure the quad tightness is somehow related though I haven't unlocked that key yet. Another mantra I am going to adopt for my neck/shoulders is to roll the shoulders up back and down while sitting at a desk.

Enjoying the Gifts

Yesterday and today brought snow and sunshine to the Salt Lake City/Park City area. We have had what seems like forever a dark icky inversion which makes my eyes twitch. I always find it easier to love life when the sun is shining. The air is clear, the inversion moved out and we have fresh powder in the mountains and sunshine in the valleys. My breath is open and free, a lot of the creaks I typically have along my back have dispersed and the odd remnants of an old collar bone break are negligible. I am amazed out how much good breath opens up my interior space and allows freedom - freedom of movement, expression and heartfelt smiles. As the days are getting longer I feel myself emerge from hibernation, checking out this curious world to see how I'll engage her. I feel stronger in the sunshine. I want to do pull-ups again and plan climbing trips.

From my Structural Integration work this weekend I am amazed as things open a little more each day. Today was the first day I notice the collar bone feeling normal again for the first time in many years. My right shoulder blade still feels like the bottom edge is slightly lifted away from the body and all the nerves wrapping through the shoulder feel that they can move more freely. Ah, Beauty.

Days 9-14 The Spine and Breath

One of my simple pleasures at the end of the day is to bend my knees as if I were sitting on a chair and fold forward from the hips, letting my head pull toward the earth on one end with my tailbone on the other. My spine releases like a string of pearls, I feel the lengthening happening through the thoracic spine primarily and then my head becomes heavy and all my overworked neck muscles breathe a huge sigh of grateful relief. By the direction of the release through the thoracic spine I suspect it is the erector spinae relaxing though there's a lot going on back there so I'm not sure.

I started my Structural Integration series this weekend with a practitioner Dan Schmidt who in addition to Structural Integration also does Feldenkrais, Cranial and Somatic work - yummy embodied stuff. We started by finding ways for me to breathe better, yay! My homework included four practices that are also part of my Dancemeditation work so some deeper explorations will come into play. These are all practices that allow my legs to help my breathing (a foreign concept from the outside - how do legs help breathing? see the ankle bone's connected to the knee bone - it all works together). With each of these practices the more 'lazily' they are done the better as this lets the outer layer of muscles release and engage the deeper layer of muscles for support. 1) on stomach with knees bent so feet reach toward the ceiling letting my legs fall side to side; 2 & 3) on each side with legs at 90 degrees gently rock the legs on top of one another, 4) on back with knees bent feet on the floor rock the knees side to side. I have also added a piece of the Dancemeditation rocking series, on my back pressing the feet into the floor and rocking, releases all the way up into the skull.

When I did my first pass with Mary Bond's book I had some difficulty feeling the breath in my back, now I feel the gentle opening all the way around. I notice there is still a heavy weight on my heart that the breath must circle as it enters. Possibly there is still too much pain protected in the area to allow the soothing breath in yet. An ongoing process.

I sense some deep fundamental shifts happening - it is exciting and frightening. Each opening takes some time to adjust. Over the last week I felt elated, sad, like I was losing my mind, grounded, disoriented... sometimes all within the same day. I keep coming back to breath, practice and inquiry - my trifecta of awareness.

Days 5-8 Weight Shifting

The last few days have been practices in weight shifting. I find that the easiest weight shift is from sitting to standing, moving weight over my feet and using the strength of my legs to push off from that point rather that my usual of somehow hurling my body forward usually thrusting with my aching neck. Resting to sitting is more difficult to remember. My physical therapist taught me to pull up one leg and then let the whole body rock forward. I have tried to get out of a bath, a bean bag and really bad slouching posture on the sofa this way. My neck thanks us for the effort. Over a few days of practice my neck pain has reduced significantly.

I also learned some warming, waking pranayama (inhaling through the right nostril only). Now I need to learn some warming relaxing pranayama which I can use for bedtime. Other areas in the body that request my focus, mid back and right elbow (a little in the right wrist). My friend, co-worker and climbing partner Cecilia mentioned that if the push/pull balance is off it will be felt in the elbow, time to switch up the push-ups and balance them with pull-ups, arg (my physical therapist also prescribed bicep curls).

Day 3 - The ankle bone's connected to the knee bone

When I was in elementary school we sang the song "The ankle bone's connected to the knee bone". Today I experienced the heel bone connected to the head bone. In the last post I mentioned the pain I experience along my right side. Another sources of tension is my neck, also primarily from spending long hours at the computer. After reading a Yoga Journal article on proper posture in a squatting position (Malasana or Garland Pose) to allow each part of the body to express itself equally, I tried pressing my heels into the floor while sitting at my desk. I discovered that with my body weight properly positioned and my heels pressed into the floor my entire body felt more supported, releasing some of the habitual tension I hold in my neck. Who would have thought?

Day 2 - Breath

I realize a big part of holding my breath is cold, I have been chilled since October... every bit of me shivers. Today I wore a beanie, snow boots and a scarf and was still cold all day. Muscles especially along my back tense in response to the cold. I wonder how my breathing will release in the Spring. Summer and Fall are better seasons for me. I should move south or maybe into an oven or fireplace as The Cremation of Sam McGee. Integrating warming pranayama would be a good winter practice!

Off Topic - Day 1 Anatomy Structure and Movement

I don't know yet how this relates to the business of this blog, to be discovered. My focus for the next 40 days is Anatomy Structure and Movement supporting my Dancemeditation study and I will share some of the explorations here. My primary reference sources are Mary Bond's book The New Rules of Posture and Anatomy and Asana by Susi Hately Aldous.

Day 1 (yesterday) - large joints. Our largest joints are the shoulders and hips, they are designed to do most of the work while the smaller joints (knees, ankles, wrists, elbows...) are designed for smaller tasks. The right side of my body is often unhappy that I sit at a desk working on a computer most of the day. Carpal tunnel and tendinitis in my right wrist and elbow remind me to take breaks, adjust my workspace and learn about body mechanics. Workspace adjustments seem to perpetually evolve, balancing comfort with getting the job done. When I misuse the smaller joints (repetitive movement with the wrist and elbow out of alignment) instead of letting the larger joints work properly I am reminded to notice my posture, breathe and readjust. Physical therapy has released tension in the forearm, however the tightness originates from a tight neck and right shoulder still settling from a broken collar bone years ago. My massage therapist has been helpful in getting things flowing from the origin so the other work will be effective. In the kitchen last night I noticed myself again using the right wrist and elbow to stir and with pain switched hands and also tried to use the shoulder more. A subtle adjustment, the awareness seemed to help though I'm still not sure I've found it. I rolled around on my foam roller for a while later in the evening, releasing along the thoracic spine and into the neck while enjoying the fiery beauty of my sunflower calendar. I wonder how the sunflower's "neck" keeps from tiring while holding the heavy flower tilted forward? In the hips, when I walk pressing out from my toes I notice that my hips swivel and move more freely letting the rest of the body flow in the movement. How can I find this in the shoulders and neck?

Since my last training intensive in November I have been more aware of my breath. Various insights have come from this practice, the primary one is my habitual pattern of bracing. When I watch my breath it usually flows gently massaging and opening me to space and opportunities in each moment. In standard operating mode my jaw is held and the area in front of my heart is static, the muscles in my legs and along my back are tight and guarded. The entire system is ready for the next bad thing, hyper vigilant of the environment in anticipation. In my past this was probably an appropriate response, today it just unproductive chronic tension. When my jaw is tight I tend to hold the hips tight as well which means the legs have little opportunity for movement, the spine is restricted and my shoulders tense. You can imagine how it affects the rest of the joints. Breathe... it's good all around.